Mom jeans

I have never really been fashionable.  I don't think I'm "What Not To Wear" worthy, I just have a pretty basic style.  I like to think of it as a "classic" style.  I'll pick up styles that I feel comfortable with and ignore those (jeggings) that I don't. 

Like most new moms, I was eager to get back into my regular clothes after the limited wardrobe of pregnancy, especially late pregnancy.  I was aware that it might take awhile to fit in those clothes, but I didn't anticipate many of the other caveats of mom-wardrobing.

Mom jeans: Yes, I made fun of them before but I totally GET them now.  The first time I wore my low-rise jeans and reached up I realized that I had just showed the world my stretchmarks. Furthermore, I spend a lot more time on the ground than I used to. Butt cracks are only cute on infants and toddlers.

Shirts: The number one priority here is easy access.  But from the bottom, because at a certain age the little one will start tugging at the top, certain that everyone else wants to see your breasts just as much as he does.  After you've had a gaggle of residents staring under the sheet over your legs, you don't really have that much modesty left.  That thin shred is quickly depleted by a small person who gets hungry no matter who is around.  Still, you probably have a bit more than your child thinks you should.  That's right, at least for the first few years, your child won't think twice about exposing you to whoever is around.  That means clothing needs to be tug-proof.  You might think that a button-down front would be ideal, but chances are your new (and sadly, temporary) fuller figure makes them an indecent option as well.

Dresses: Not an option.  Unless you can find a style that gives you front or top access, I don't recommend pulling your skirt up to your shoulders when it's time to nurse.

Hair: In the first few weeks, a ponytail is simply a matter of survival.  If your hair is clean when you put it back you have had a good day.  Just when you think you have things under control enough to do something with it, your little one begins to find the temptation of those swinging locks to be too much and gives them regular tugs.  Back to the ponytail once again. 

Accessories: Earrings, necklaces, etc. are too much of a temptation for little hands.  Like a letter man jacket or your sorority pin, the white spot (spit-up, snot, etc) on your shoulder is your new accessory indicating membership in the mom club.

Shoes: If you had any trouble walking in them before, try doing it with a wiggle-monster perched on one hip.

Add to these concerns the need for durability and washable-ness and the fact that it seems like your size changes faster than your baby's, and it's amazing moms ever get dressed at all.