I am an Olympic junkie. I tend to walk around in a daze during the two weeks of the games due to lack of sleep. For years I would watch the games and dream of being an Olympian, despite my complete lack of coordination.
This year as I'm watching the London Olympics, I no longer hope to be an athlete myself. Now my dream is to raise an Olympian. I think about the sports that he might excel at, and try to get him kicking in the pool. Our off-the-growth-charts toddler will probably never make it as a gymnast, coxswain, or table tennis player, but basketball, swimming, and volleyball would all be possibilities. (And does any American really fantasize about being winning the gold in ping-pong?)
But as I hear the stories, I wonder if I have it in me to raise an Olympian. There's the good side: would I see the potential in my child and nurture it like Jonathan Horton's parents? But also the bad: would I send my child away to training camp like Gabby Douglas? It's clear from the stories of many of the young athletes that becoming an Olympian takes the dedication of not just that person, but the entire family. As I watch I wonder, don't Michael Phelps's sisters get tired of being just that? Are siblings neglected? Do relationships suffer? Where is the line between being supportive and pushing your child too far?
Do you think you have what it takes to raise an Olympian?
I'll continue to try to teach B to swim, but the genetics and training that I provide will probably mean that his most Olympic event is enduring two weeks of Bob Costas. I'll be happy and proud of that, too.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
When vacations aren't
I have always loved to travel. From camping to Europe, I love to get away. I even liked to pack. It was the anticipation that I enjoyed.
Since having a child, however, I have come to dread vacations a little. I still love to get away, but the packing for the whole family, including gear, toys, books, diapers, milk, snacks, etc. is such a pain! There's the looming knowledge of coming home to stacks of mail, piles of laundry to mar the last day as well. Ray is helpful in many things, but packing is not one of them. I spend a week shopping, making sure clothes are clean, getting things together...and he makes a pile of clothes 30 minutes before we leave.
Traveling with young children adds the complication of sleep arrangements. B sleeps in a pack and play, and is pretty good at going down by himself, but not when we are in the room. So for a few hours in the afternoon and after 8 pm we are sort of stuck. On our last trip one of us sat on the desk chair in the hall outside of the room while the other fled to the lobby.
This past weekend we headed to the Hershey Lodge for 4 days where Ray was attending a conference. Despite my urge to strangle him, we got everything packed and headed out ahead of schedule. His conference started at noon, although check-in wasn't until 4. So B and I perused the outlets for a while on a 20-minute car nap and waited for a call about early check-in. By 3:30 we were back at the hotel requesting again. Now they managed to put us in a tiny room on a narrow hall at the back of the property. I wanted to cry. What I did instead was crab at Ray until he called to ask if we could get into a room with an exterior door. They were able to switch us, but it would now be 5:30 until we could get into the room. So we went back to the lobby and chased the York Peppermint Pattie and the Kit-Kat around for awhile. We had snacks. We terrorized the other guests, but at least a few of them were in the same situation.
We finally got into a new room, and it was great. Centrally located, bigger, and with an external door with two chairs outside. It was 95 degrees, but still better than sitting on the floor in the hall. B never slept anymore that day, but did remarkably well, except for a struggle to fall asleep at bedtime. He did repeatedly unplug the alarm clock, try to talk on the phone, and switch the wall unit from AC to heat, but we all survived, and even enjoyed ourselves.
We learned some lessons too...arrive a day early, and be sure to request one of those rooms in the future. And for now, I'm looking forward to the next trip, at least until it's time to pack!
Since having a child, however, I have come to dread vacations a little. I still love to get away, but the packing for the whole family, including gear, toys, books, diapers, milk, snacks, etc. is such a pain! There's the looming knowledge of coming home to stacks of mail, piles of laundry to mar the last day as well. Ray is helpful in many things, but packing is not one of them. I spend a week shopping, making sure clothes are clean, getting things together...and he makes a pile of clothes 30 minutes before we leave.
Traveling with young children adds the complication of sleep arrangements. B sleeps in a pack and play, and is pretty good at going down by himself, but not when we are in the room. So for a few hours in the afternoon and after 8 pm we are sort of stuck. On our last trip one of us sat on the desk chair in the hall outside of the room while the other fled to the lobby.
This past weekend we headed to the Hershey Lodge for 4 days where Ray was attending a conference. Despite my urge to strangle him, we got everything packed and headed out ahead of schedule. His conference started at noon, although check-in wasn't until 4. So B and I perused the outlets for a while on a 20-minute car nap and waited for a call about early check-in. By 3:30 we were back at the hotel requesting again. Now they managed to put us in a tiny room on a narrow hall at the back of the property. I wanted to cry. What I did instead was crab at Ray until he called to ask if we could get into a room with an exterior door. They were able to switch us, but it would now be 5:30 until we could get into the room. So we went back to the lobby and chased the York Peppermint Pattie and the Kit-Kat around for awhile. We had snacks. We terrorized the other guests, but at least a few of them were in the same situation.
We finally got into a new room, and it was great. Centrally located, bigger, and with an external door with two chairs outside. It was 95 degrees, but still better than sitting on the floor in the hall. B never slept anymore that day, but did remarkably well, except for a struggle to fall asleep at bedtime. He did repeatedly unplug the alarm clock, try to talk on the phone, and switch the wall unit from AC to heat, but we all survived, and even enjoyed ourselves.
We learned some lessons too...arrive a day early, and be sure to request one of those rooms in the future. And for now, I'm looking forward to the next trip, at least until it's time to pack!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Ulterior motives
I know I sometimes come off as though I think I'm an expert on parenting. I don't think that. How could I be? I have one kid who is only 18 months old. Perhaps I appear that way because I'm just an extremely conceited person. I choose to think it's because as a stay-at-home parent, I want desperately to feel as though I am knowledgeable about something.
A few weeks ago I said I judged other moms for a few a things, one of them being have a cranky toddler out when it was clearly nap time. I shouldn't have said that, both because I shouldn't judge, and because it didn't accurately express what I was trying to say. I know that I can be judgmental, and I shouldn't be. I don't know the circumstances that cause a person to act a particular way, and I shouldn't pretend to understand them. We all judge, but that doesn't make it right. I don't like being a judgmental person, and I want to change. I want to set a better example for B. My husband and I often discuss the fact that we don't want to screw him up too badly (working on the assumption that we are all screwed up in some way!)
Young children need naps. Healthy sleep habits aid learning, decrease obesity, etc. Here's my confession: I'm not such a stickler about naps because it's good for B. I want to be home for nap time because it's good for me. If all he gets is a 20 minute snooze in the car we're both going to have a bad day. Nap time is my time. I spend part of it doing the housework and chores that are difficult when he is awake, and then try to spend some time doing something for me: writing this blog, reading, even answering e-mails. There are going to be days when we're out and it's unavoidable, but I try to limit those, because it really is worth it to me to be home every afternoon. When we're out for consecutive days, I get nothing done. It's my sanity.
I'm not an expert; I'm just figuring it out as I go along. As a mom I truly appreciate hearing what has worked for other moms and I'm just hoping that what I learn can help someone else and that I can stimulate some discussion that can help us all.
A few weeks ago I said I judged other moms for a few a things, one of them being have a cranky toddler out when it was clearly nap time. I shouldn't have said that, both because I shouldn't judge, and because it didn't accurately express what I was trying to say. I know that I can be judgmental, and I shouldn't be. I don't know the circumstances that cause a person to act a particular way, and I shouldn't pretend to understand them. We all judge, but that doesn't make it right. I don't like being a judgmental person, and I want to change. I want to set a better example for B. My husband and I often discuss the fact that we don't want to screw him up too badly (working on the assumption that we are all screwed up in some way!)
Young children need naps. Healthy sleep habits aid learning, decrease obesity, etc. Here's my confession: I'm not such a stickler about naps because it's good for B. I want to be home for nap time because it's good for me. If all he gets is a 20 minute snooze in the car we're both going to have a bad day. Nap time is my time. I spend part of it doing the housework and chores that are difficult when he is awake, and then try to spend some time doing something for me: writing this blog, reading, even answering e-mails. There are going to be days when we're out and it's unavoidable, but I try to limit those, because it really is worth it to me to be home every afternoon. When we're out for consecutive days, I get nothing done. It's my sanity.
I'm not an expert; I'm just figuring it out as I go along. As a mom I truly appreciate hearing what has worked for other moms and I'm just hoping that what I learn can help someone else and that I can stimulate some discussion that can help us all.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I just want to be by myself right now!
When I worked in child care, I had these adorable cousins who already had a love-hate relationship at the age of 2. Sometimes when the boy cousin was trying to play with her the girl cousin would say "I just want to be by myself right now!" It was surprising coming out of the mouth of one so young, but I've thought about those toddlers many times when I wanted to shout the same thing.
As a camp counselor, especially to the elementary school set, I liked going to the bathroom because when I shut the stall door, I was all alone in those four particle-board walls. I remember saying so to new staff, only to be looked at as though I had 6 heads. I bet they understood by the end of the first week. Little did I realize that as a mom, I don't even get to be alone when I go to the bathroom.
A few times in the past week Ray has allowed B to run into the bathroom when I am showering. That pitter-patter of his little feet and his little hands on the glass are so precious. Still, I think, "shower time is supposed to be ME-time!" For a few minutes I want to let the water run over me and relax, all alone in that glass cubicle. These days I can't wash the dishes without having a little body squeeze his way between my legs and the cupboard. I love him and I don't want to miss a thing, but I need a little time to just be by myself and recharge. To know he's safe with someone else who loves him. To remember who I am.
As a camp counselor, especially to the elementary school set, I liked going to the bathroom because when I shut the stall door, I was all alone in those four particle-board walls. I remember saying so to new staff, only to be looked at as though I had 6 heads. I bet they understood by the end of the first week. Little did I realize that as a mom, I don't even get to be alone when I go to the bathroom.
A few times in the past week Ray has allowed B to run into the bathroom when I am showering. That pitter-patter of his little feet and his little hands on the glass are so precious. Still, I think, "shower time is supposed to be ME-time!" For a few minutes I want to let the water run over me and relax, all alone in that glass cubicle. These days I can't wash the dishes without having a little body squeeze his way between my legs and the cupboard. I love him and I don't want to miss a thing, but I need a little time to just be by myself and recharge. To know he's safe with someone else who loves him. To remember who I am.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Let kids be kids
I was at the mall last week, shortly after 1 pm, completing a return with a female employee who was my age or younger, when a grandmother walked by corralling a 3-year-old girl. The grandmother said to us "let this be a lesson for you." I can only assume that she meant "use a condom, kiddies" but I think there are other lessons to be learned.
I am far from a perfect parent, and B is not a perfect child (although the little stinker does know how to put it on for the grandparents), but a trip to the mall always makes me feel like I'm doing an awesome job. (Central PA folks, Knoebel's is so good for one's self-esteem. A visit never fails to make me feel slender, well-dressed, patient and nurturing.)
Kids misbehave, and they do it in public. It's embarrassing, but if you're doing your best, other moms are likely to sympathize. However, I don't feel sorry for you when you are yelling at your child for BEING A CHILD.
I am 30 years old and I still get cranky when I am hungry, tired, or ignored. Why would a child be different? That little girl was not misbehaving, she was simply acting as a little girl should. If taking her to the mall is too much for you, don't take her to the mall. There is space to run and things to see and if she is mutely standing by your side the whole time she is not a normal 3-year-old.
This toddlerhood stage can be so frustrating, but I keep reminding myself (and sometimes others), that he is not being bad, he is being a toddler. It is our job to teach him the right way, not to assume that he already knows it. It's frustrating, but it's also magical to see the world through his eyes, and just let him be a kid.
I am far from a perfect parent, and B is not a perfect child (although the little stinker does know how to put it on for the grandparents), but a trip to the mall always makes me feel like I'm doing an awesome job. (Central PA folks, Knoebel's is so good for one's self-esteem. A visit never fails to make me feel slender, well-dressed, patient and nurturing.)
Kids misbehave, and they do it in public. It's embarrassing, but if you're doing your best, other moms are likely to sympathize. However, I don't feel sorry for you when you are yelling at your child for BEING A CHILD.
I am 30 years old and I still get cranky when I am hungry, tired, or ignored. Why would a child be different? That little girl was not misbehaving, she was simply acting as a little girl should. If taking her to the mall is too much for you, don't take her to the mall. There is space to run and things to see and if she is mutely standing by your side the whole time she is not a normal 3-year-old.
This toddlerhood stage can be so frustrating, but I keep reminding myself (and sometimes others), that he is not being bad, he is being a toddler. It is our job to teach him the right way, not to assume that he already knows it. It's frustrating, but it's also magical to see the world through his eyes, and just let him be a kid.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Free and cheap activities for young toddlers
I've been scouring the web lately looking for activity ideas for my 17-month old. Unfortunately most ideas are either too advanced or really not worth mentioning (going for a walk? Reading books? Oh...I hadn't thought of that!)
So, I thought I'd post a few of the activities we have come up with, most of which involve trash, so they're free. Really, things you would normally throw away are so much fun to a 17-month old.
I've been on an online shopping kick recently. That's not free of course, but we have created a fort...
We've also made use of the packing paper as craft paper. Mostly B likes to dump the crayons out and then put them back in the box, but he scribbled a little.
Finally, the packing peanuts provided some great fill-and-dump fun. This one requires close supervision if your toddler still wants to put everything in his mouth.
I created a "pom-pom-stuff-it-in" from an idea I found on Money Saving Mom. I was surprised at how quickly B figured out what to do, and how many times in a row he would do it. It works well when I want to entertain him in his high chair for a little longer while I make dinner.
B also spends quite a bit of time playing in his kitchen drawer. It's filled with empty containers, plastic cups, a pot, etc. He really likes to stir as well as "drink" from cups.
And, finally, what is perhaps B's favorite toy right now... a bowl full of plastic Easter eggs. He stirs them, he opens them, he dumps them out, and he uses a large spoon to transfer them from one bowl to another, which I figure is great motor skill practice (after all, using a spoon without dumping its contents can be pretty tricky).
What are some things your young toddler enjoys/enjoyed? I'd love to hear some more ideas!
So, I thought I'd post a few of the activities we have come up with, most of which involve trash, so they're free. Really, things you would normally throw away are so much fun to a 17-month old.
I've been on an online shopping kick recently. That's not free of course, but we have created a fort...
We've also made use of the packing paper as craft paper. Mostly B likes to dump the crayons out and then put them back in the box, but he scribbled a little.
I created a "pom-pom-stuff-it-in" from an idea I found on Money Saving Mom. I was surprised at how quickly B figured out what to do, and how many times in a row he would do it. It works well when I want to entertain him in his high chair for a little longer while I make dinner.
B also spends quite a bit of time playing in his kitchen drawer. It's filled with empty containers, plastic cups, a pot, etc. He really likes to stir as well as "drink" from cups.
And, finally, what is perhaps B's favorite toy right now... a bowl full of plastic Easter eggs. He stirs them, he opens them, he dumps them out, and he uses a large spoon to transfer them from one bowl to another, which I figure is great motor skill practice (after all, using a spoon without dumping its contents can be pretty tricky).
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day, Everyday (What's Good for Mama is Good for Everybody)
My mother-in-law seems to think that I should be making B eggs and sausage for breakfast every morning. I know that doing so is wrong in so many ways, but I sense she thinks I'm just lazy.
It's true I don't get up in time to cook him breakfast, and he doesn't wait well when he's hungry. On weekday mornings the alarm goes off at 6. Usually Ray gets on the treadmill and I do a workout video for about a half-hour. We then switch off taking showers and eating breakfast, with whoever is not in the shower getting B up when he wakes, and getting him his banana and Cheerios.
So is getting up at 6 to exercise instead of to prepare breakfast selfish? I would be inclined to argue that taking care of myself is taking care of B.
We haven't done Mother's Day yet (Ray had to work) but I'm fairly certain that he got me a nice gift. I appreciate it, but I don't really need gifts. Or, I'd like gifts of the sentimental kind (hand prints, etc.) What I really want, is just for a little while, to be pampered. I'm not talking about the spa (although I wouldn't say no to that). I'd just like to be cared for instead of the caregiver for a change. I'd like to sit down on my chair at the beginning of the meal, and get up when I've finished eating. Ah, such luxuries.
Mother's day is great, but once a year isn't enough (I know I'm extremely demanding-that probably makes me a bad mom). Because when I can take care of myself, I'm better at taking care of everyone else. I have more patience, I'm more physically able, and I'm setting a better example.
It's better for everybody if we put a little Mother's Day in everyday (or at least week, or month) and better for our cholesterol levels not to have eggs and sausage every morning.
It's true I don't get up in time to cook him breakfast, and he doesn't wait well when he's hungry. On weekday mornings the alarm goes off at 6. Usually Ray gets on the treadmill and I do a workout video for about a half-hour. We then switch off taking showers and eating breakfast, with whoever is not in the shower getting B up when he wakes, and getting him his banana and Cheerios.
So is getting up at 6 to exercise instead of to prepare breakfast selfish? I would be inclined to argue that taking care of myself is taking care of B.
We haven't done Mother's Day yet (Ray had to work) but I'm fairly certain that he got me a nice gift. I appreciate it, but I don't really need gifts. Or, I'd like gifts of the sentimental kind (hand prints, etc.) What I really want, is just for a little while, to be pampered. I'm not talking about the spa (although I wouldn't say no to that). I'd just like to be cared for instead of the caregiver for a change. I'd like to sit down on my chair at the beginning of the meal, and get up when I've finished eating. Ah, such luxuries.
Mother's day is great, but once a year isn't enough (I know I'm extremely demanding-that probably makes me a bad mom). Because when I can take care of myself, I'm better at taking care of everyone else. I have more patience, I'm more physically able, and I'm setting a better example.
It's better for everybody if we put a little Mother's Day in everyday (or at least week, or month) and better for our cholesterol levels not to have eggs and sausage every morning.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Migraines and Moms
When my son was 13 days old, we had a bad day. He peed through his diaper at least 7 times (I think we needed to move up a size). I was exhausted. Ray was supposed to come home from work early, and I was eagerly awaiting some assistance. I heard his car in the garage, my spirits lifted. And then he walked in the door and said "I don't feel well, I'm going to lay down."
And then it hit me. I didn't feel well either, but for the next 18 years or so, I wouldn't be taking a sick day.
As a chronic headache sufferer, I'm used to soldiering on. Ray gets a headache, moans and groans and has to lay down, takes 2 Advil and feels better in half an hour. Puh-lease. If Advil fixes it, it doesn't even count as a headache in my book. He asked me once how I can keep doing everything when I have a headache. The answer seemed simple, when you have frequent headaches, you can't stop everything every time you get one, so you push through for as long as you can. When they get unbearable (and they do) you go to bed.
That's not to say that Ray doesn't try to give me some peace when I have a headache, but he isn't here that much. In 17 months I have once called my mom to come up and once asked that Ray come home early (which just happened to be doable that day) when my headache was at it's absolute worst. Mostly I just muddle through, because that's my only option. And a 17-month old doesn't understand that I need to rest. If I lay down, he just thinks I'm a jungle gym.
No more sick days for me.
And then it hit me. I didn't feel well either, but for the next 18 years or so, I wouldn't be taking a sick day.
As a chronic headache sufferer, I'm used to soldiering on. Ray gets a headache, moans and groans and has to lay down, takes 2 Advil and feels better in half an hour. Puh-lease. If Advil fixes it, it doesn't even count as a headache in my book. He asked me once how I can keep doing everything when I have a headache. The answer seemed simple, when you have frequent headaches, you can't stop everything every time you get one, so you push through for as long as you can. When they get unbearable (and they do) you go to bed.
That's not to say that Ray doesn't try to give me some peace when I have a headache, but he isn't here that much. In 17 months I have once called my mom to come up and once asked that Ray come home early (which just happened to be doable that day) when my headache was at it's absolute worst. Mostly I just muddle through, because that's my only option. And a 17-month old doesn't understand that I need to rest. If I lay down, he just thinks I'm a jungle gym.
No more sick days for me.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I am the Mama!
We returned from visiting my husband's family in North Carolina yesterday, and now we're all on diets. Ray and I because southern food really is what Paula Deen cooks, B because his grandmother clearly thinks that he is malnourished when she is not around.
Grandparents, in general, seem to have at once incredible memory and incredible amnesia. They can be hard-pressed to believe that anything can change in 30 years, and yet not recall that they had rules and worries for their own children that they wished to have respected. Sometimes they seem to forget who the parent is this time. The problem with in-laws is that they're not as easy to chastise as your own parents.
So B, who usually eats pretty well, chowed down on grits and sausage, fried shrimp, and banana pudding. He also snacked often and walked around with a cookie. At a memorable moment my husband, at his mother's urging, fed him coleslaw, although I said that he didn't need any and he wouldn't like it. And do you know what he did? He gagged and threw up a little. Oh wait, I was right? I know my own child? That's because I'm the Mama!
We also spent significant amounts of time at wholly unchildproofed homes. Now I am not the type of mother who carries outlet covers in my purse, but I do reserve the right to become a helicopter parent in these situations. Several people told me to "just let him go, he won't hurt anything." I looked around; there were ceramics and glassware within easy reach, unsecured kitchen cupboards and drawers, open bathroom doors, and tables and chair to climb on. He won't hurt anything (nor will it hurt him)? PLEASE, I am the Mama! I know what he will hurt!
Objectively I know that they mean well, but sometimes I just feel like shouting: "Stop telling me how to parent! I am the Mama!"
Grandparents, in general, seem to have at once incredible memory and incredible amnesia. They can be hard-pressed to believe that anything can change in 30 years, and yet not recall that they had rules and worries for their own children that they wished to have respected. Sometimes they seem to forget who the parent is this time. The problem with in-laws is that they're not as easy to chastise as your own parents.
So B, who usually eats pretty well, chowed down on grits and sausage, fried shrimp, and banana pudding. He also snacked often and walked around with a cookie. At a memorable moment my husband, at his mother's urging, fed him coleslaw, although I said that he didn't need any and he wouldn't like it. And do you know what he did? He gagged and threw up a little. Oh wait, I was right? I know my own child? That's because I'm the Mama!
We also spent significant amounts of time at wholly unchildproofed homes. Now I am not the type of mother who carries outlet covers in my purse, but I do reserve the right to become a helicopter parent in these situations. Several people told me to "just let him go, he won't hurt anything." I looked around; there were ceramics and glassware within easy reach, unsecured kitchen cupboards and drawers, open bathroom doors, and tables and chair to climb on. He won't hurt anything (nor will it hurt him)? PLEASE, I am the Mama! I know what he will hurt!
Objectively I know that they mean well, but sometimes I just feel like shouting: "Stop telling me how to parent! I am the Mama!"
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Don't Ignore Infertility
Moms, if you're like me, you love to talk about your kids. Heck, that's what this blog is about, right? Your frustrations, their accomplishments, the adorable things they've said and done; you want people to know.
Here's what you may not realize if you've never struggled with infertility: every mention of your kids can feel like a dagger in the heart of those who desperately want children. I know; I've been there. I had to take a Facebook hiatus, because I just couldn't deal with it. Should you stop talking about your kids? Of course not. I just want to remind you today, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, to remember that it's not so easy for everyone.
We were lucky in that my diagnosis (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS) was clear cut, and so it took just a few rounds of treatment before we conceived our beautiful baby boy. Still, I know the desperation, the sadness, the pain of watching others around you, in all stations in life, bearing children, while you are seemingly unable to do so. Well meaning strangers and friends alike ask you when you're planning to have children and you to try to casually deflect the question while inside you're screaming. You're envious of everything from morning sickness to meconium, if it will make you a mother.
Enjoy your children. Talk about them. Just don't ignore infertility. And if you know someone who is struggling with infertility (and chances are that you do) please take a few minutes to read this great article from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association.
Here are some other resources from RESOLVE if you're interested in learning more:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html
Here's what you may not realize if you've never struggled with infertility: every mention of your kids can feel like a dagger in the heart of those who desperately want children. I know; I've been there. I had to take a Facebook hiatus, because I just couldn't deal with it. Should you stop talking about your kids? Of course not. I just want to remind you today, in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week, to remember that it's not so easy for everyone.
We were lucky in that my diagnosis (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS) was clear cut, and so it took just a few rounds of treatment before we conceived our beautiful baby boy. Still, I know the desperation, the sadness, the pain of watching others around you, in all stations in life, bearing children, while you are seemingly unable to do so. Well meaning strangers and friends alike ask you when you're planning to have children and you to try to casually deflect the question while inside you're screaming. You're envious of everything from morning sickness to meconium, if it will make you a mother.
Enjoy your children. Talk about them. Just don't ignore infertility. And if you know someone who is struggling with infertility (and chances are that you do) please take a few minutes to read this great article from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association.
Here are some other resources from RESOLVE if you're interested in learning more:
http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html
Monday, April 16, 2012
The toddler diet
Oh, the toddler diet. So narrow, so unpredictable. I used to gobble up sweet potatoes, now I spit them out. It can drive a well meaning parent batty.
I am not a health nut or a dietician. And yet, I was determined not to let my child exist on Goldfish crackers and juice, as so many toddlers do. So far I've succeeded. That's not to say that he doesn't have a limited palate. I feel as though he eats the same thing all of the time, but at least that thing is relatively healthy. He may yet go on a fruit and vegetable strike, but so far here are some of the tricks that worked for me.
1. Order of presentation matters. He won't eat the vegetables if the bread and cheese is present. But if he's hungry and vegetables are the only thing on his tray, in they go. Normally this one is a problem at restaurants where they bring everything together, but last time we ate out, I asked that they bring the broccoli first, and he ate it all.
2. Delivery method matters. Some kids will eat baby food vegetables but not real ones, for a little while, that's ok. Those blends in the pouches are great: they don't taste like veggies, and he thinks they're fun to eat. Lately he's been all about using utensils, so if he can stab it or eat it off of a spoon (with assistance) he's much more likely to eat it.
3. Liquids matter. Toddlers don't need juice. They're perfectly capable of drinking water. It's better for their teeth, decreases the risk of obesity, and establishes good lifelong habits.
4. Choices matter. He's been eating a lot of carrots and peas lately. I do wish he would branch out a bit, and I keep offering him new things, but if he will get his recommended serving of vegetables in carrots and peas I'm going to let him.
5. Your perspective matters. Toddlers don't pick toddler foods, their parents do. I know at some point the world (ahem, Nana) is going to catch up to me on this one, but for now I make the food choices. He eats whole grain bread, with crust. He eats real cheese (vs. processed). He drinks water. Cookies and cheese crackers are treats, not staples. Within reason, he eats what we're eating. He is also welcome to eat things that I don't like, and I'm not going to try to influence his perception.
I realize that by writing this post I'm probably inviting food issues. I promise that I will keep trying, though, and not resort to chicken nuggets and french fries as a daily meal.
What tips and tricks have you discovered for getting your child to eat healthy?
I am not a health nut or a dietician. And yet, I was determined not to let my child exist on Goldfish crackers and juice, as so many toddlers do. So far I've succeeded. That's not to say that he doesn't have a limited palate. I feel as though he eats the same thing all of the time, but at least that thing is relatively healthy. He may yet go on a fruit and vegetable strike, but so far here are some of the tricks that worked for me.
1. Order of presentation matters. He won't eat the vegetables if the bread and cheese is present. But if he's hungry and vegetables are the only thing on his tray, in they go. Normally this one is a problem at restaurants where they bring everything together, but last time we ate out, I asked that they bring the broccoli first, and he ate it all.
2. Delivery method matters. Some kids will eat baby food vegetables but not real ones, for a little while, that's ok. Those blends in the pouches are great: they don't taste like veggies, and he thinks they're fun to eat. Lately he's been all about using utensils, so if he can stab it or eat it off of a spoon (with assistance) he's much more likely to eat it.
3. Liquids matter. Toddlers don't need juice. They're perfectly capable of drinking water. It's better for their teeth, decreases the risk of obesity, and establishes good lifelong habits.
4. Choices matter. He's been eating a lot of carrots and peas lately. I do wish he would branch out a bit, and I keep offering him new things, but if he will get his recommended serving of vegetables in carrots and peas I'm going to let him.
5. Your perspective matters. Toddlers don't pick toddler foods, their parents do. I know at some point the world (ahem, Nana) is going to catch up to me on this one, but for now I make the food choices. He eats whole grain bread, with crust. He eats real cheese (vs. processed). He drinks water. Cookies and cheese crackers are treats, not staples. Within reason, he eats what we're eating. He is also welcome to eat things that I don't like, and I'm not going to try to influence his perception.
I realize that by writing this post I'm probably inviting food issues. I promise that I will keep trying, though, and not resort to chicken nuggets and french fries as a daily meal.
What tips and tricks have you discovered for getting your child to eat healthy?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Baby must-haves
A college friend who is expecting her first child posted on Facebook today asking for advice on baby gear. When I was pregnant, I too was seeking all of the advice that I could get on this topic, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to write about my favorite baby things. As always, I am not an expert. The following are based on my experiences only.
Baby must-haves
1. My absolute number 1 baby item is the HALO sleepsack swaddle. B slept SO much better when swaddled, and this clever design kept him warm and was much harder to Houdini out of than a blanket (plus those get too small FAST.) The sizing is generous, so I would definitely start with a newborn, in fleece or cotton depending on when your baby is due. Actually I would recommend getting two, so that one can be in the wash, but you may want to start with one to be sure that you like it.
2. My second favorite baby item was B's Jumperoo. This item is for the 4-8 months time frame, but during that time it was invaluable for keep him contained and entertained so that I could get things done.
The remainder of the list is in no particular order
3. Bouncy seat or similar. We had a bouncy seat and not a swing (I felt they were redundant). The bouncy seat had the advantage of being easy to carry around the house. I wouldn't say he loved it, but a place to keep him safe as a newborn is important.
4. You can never have enough bibs, washcloths, and burp cloths. They get dirty quickly. We now use washcloths to clean up before and after eating, so I prefer the thinner ones for getting between little fingers. For bibs go with the Carter's teething bibs or something similar. These bibs have plastic between the two fabric sides. If you have a real droller he'll soak through an all-fabric bib in a matter of minutes.
5. Diapers: a no-brainer, but I would not get a ton. It seems like different kids do better in different brands, so you'll have to experiment to see which works best for you. When you decide, try using Amazon's subscribe and save. Also, I write from the perspective of someone whose child was 8 lb 7 oz at birth, but you may not need many in the newborn size. We also cloth diaper, which I'm happy to answer questions about, but I do recommend using disposables for the first few weeks anyway.
6. Travel system. The hospital won't let you leave without a new (they have expiration dates) infant car seat. The kind that comes out of the base and then snaps right into the stroller makes things so much easier. We loved our Chicco Cortina. You can get this system with a car seat that is rated up to 30 lbs (v. 22) but it still has a maximum length of 30 inches. If you have a long child the extra expense is not worth it.
7. Playard. We got the Graco with a "newborn napper" and used it as a bassinet while B slept in our room (the first four months). It was the perfect height. I feel obliged to tell you that the bassinet top does not meet the AAP's guidelines for safe sleep as it is not perfectly flat nor perfectly firm. I was pretty uptight about these guidelines, but in this case feel like they're a little over the top. That's your decision. If you have generous friends, you may want to consider registering for 2 playards. Since B hasn't gotten active we've purchased a second so that we have one on each floor.
8. Clothing. Until baby's belly button falls off it seems most practical to keep him in one piece outfits. Stock up on sleepers and rompers, wait on the cute little outfits. With rompers you'll need socks, I find this kind ($1/pair in stores) to stay on the best. If it's cold, you might want to layer, side-snap t-shirts are the easiest and again don't fit tightly against the umbilical cord stump. Carter's are the best; you can go ahead and stock up on bodysuits (commonly called Onesies but technically that is a brand name made by Gerber- they run very small) in larger sizes.
9. Healthcare items. One of the best gifts I got, that I didn't register for, was a tub full of healthcare items (it's nice to have pediatrician friends). Some of the items were: a rectal thermometer (yes, that's the kind you're supposed to use), infants' acetaminophin (it says 2-3 years, but that's the right one), infants' ibuprofen (but you can't use this until 6 months of age), vitamins, and a tub of Triple Paste. I also recommend Vaseline for a boy (circumcision care), rubbing alcohol wipes, safety swabs, and a comb and a brush (and a bowl full of mush).
If you're planning on breast-feeding (and I hope you are!)
1. A Boppy with an extra cover. In addition to saving your arms during nursing, your baby can lie in it (supervised-soft pillows are a SIDS risk). Again, we ended up with 2 of these- one for upstairs and one for downstairs.
2. A breast pump. I have this Medela. They're expensive, so if you can rent or borrow, go ahead. You should be able to get new tubing from your hospital.
3. Bottles. I know this one seems counter-intuitive, but give yourself a break and start having your partner give your child a bottle after nursing is established (2-4 weeks). If not, you'll end up with a child who won't take the bottle and you'll be on a short leash. This is another one where you'll need to determine your child's preference, so don't buy too many of any one kind.
4. Lanolin and nursing pads. For your own comfort.
5. Nursing camis. It may be difficult to buy nursing bras while you're unsure what your size will be (although you may want to try). Luckily a soft cami will go well with your momiform .
We didn't have:
-A diaper pail. Well, we do for cloth, but for disposables we just use a regular trash can with a lid.
-A playmat/gym. We used blankets. And toys.
-A wipe warmer. Really? You're still using cold wipes when you're away from the changing table.
-A Bumbo.
- A video monitor. But I kind of wish we did.
A few other random tips:
If you're a knowledge-junkie like me, try Heading Home with Your Newborn or Baby 411. Both are easy to read and informative without being preachy.
You will probably get a lot of toys, books, blankets, hooded towels, and 3-6 month clothes whether or not you register for them. You shouldn't need more than one pack of receiving blankets anyway. You may want to hold off on buying these things.
I didn't love the Baby Bjorn. Not because he was dangling, but because at 4 months and 16 lbs he was already a back-breaker. I think I'm going to try an Ergo next time.
Pacifiers are another item that is up to your baby's preference, so don't buy too many of any one kind until you know what he likes/if he likes them at all. B and many of my friends' babies preferred the Avent kind that they use in the hospital, not the traditional Binky.
And for you, Mom. For a vaginal delivery, I recommend stocking up on Tucks and maxi pads (the fat old-fashioned kind). Also, take home as many of the ice-pack-maxi-pads from the hospital as you can. I know it sounds strange, but trust me, you will come to think of them as friends. Finally, regardless of delivery method, you will want quick and easy meals. Stock your freezer, and don't be afraid to suggest that friends bring you dinner if they ask what you need.
This list is way too long, and there is grunting coming from the nursery (oh, joy). What are your favorite/least favorite baby items?
Baby must-haves
1. My absolute number 1 baby item is the HALO sleepsack swaddle. B slept SO much better when swaddled, and this clever design kept him warm and was much harder to Houdini out of than a blanket (plus those get too small FAST.) The sizing is generous, so I would definitely start with a newborn, in fleece or cotton depending on when your baby is due. Actually I would recommend getting two, so that one can be in the wash, but you may want to start with one to be sure that you like it.
2. My second favorite baby item was B's Jumperoo. This item is for the 4-8 months time frame, but during that time it was invaluable for keep him contained and entertained so that I could get things done.
The remainder of the list is in no particular order
3. Bouncy seat or similar. We had a bouncy seat and not a swing (I felt they were redundant). The bouncy seat had the advantage of being easy to carry around the house. I wouldn't say he loved it, but a place to keep him safe as a newborn is important.
4. You can never have enough bibs, washcloths, and burp cloths. They get dirty quickly. We now use washcloths to clean up before and after eating, so I prefer the thinner ones for getting between little fingers. For bibs go with the Carter's teething bibs or something similar. These bibs have plastic between the two fabric sides. If you have a real droller he'll soak through an all-fabric bib in a matter of minutes.
5. Diapers: a no-brainer, but I would not get a ton. It seems like different kids do better in different brands, so you'll have to experiment to see which works best for you. When you decide, try using Amazon's subscribe and save. Also, I write from the perspective of someone whose child was 8 lb 7 oz at birth, but you may not need many in the newborn size. We also cloth diaper, which I'm happy to answer questions about, but I do recommend using disposables for the first few weeks anyway.
6. Travel system. The hospital won't let you leave without a new (they have expiration dates) infant car seat. The kind that comes out of the base and then snaps right into the stroller makes things so much easier. We loved our Chicco Cortina. You can get this system with a car seat that is rated up to 30 lbs (v. 22) but it still has a maximum length of 30 inches. If you have a long child the extra expense is not worth it.
7. Playard. We got the Graco with a "newborn napper" and used it as a bassinet while B slept in our room (the first four months). It was the perfect height. I feel obliged to tell you that the bassinet top does not meet the AAP's guidelines for safe sleep as it is not perfectly flat nor perfectly firm. I was pretty uptight about these guidelines, but in this case feel like they're a little over the top. That's your decision. If you have generous friends, you may want to consider registering for 2 playards. Since B hasn't gotten active we've purchased a second so that we have one on each floor.
8. Clothing. Until baby's belly button falls off it seems most practical to keep him in one piece outfits. Stock up on sleepers and rompers, wait on the cute little outfits. With rompers you'll need socks, I find this kind ($1/pair in stores) to stay on the best. If it's cold, you might want to layer, side-snap t-shirts are the easiest and again don't fit tightly against the umbilical cord stump. Carter's are the best; you can go ahead and stock up on bodysuits (commonly called Onesies but technically that is a brand name made by Gerber- they run very small) in larger sizes.
9. Healthcare items. One of the best gifts I got, that I didn't register for, was a tub full of healthcare items (it's nice to have pediatrician friends). Some of the items were: a rectal thermometer (yes, that's the kind you're supposed to use), infants' acetaminophin (it says 2-3 years, but that's the right one), infants' ibuprofen (but you can't use this until 6 months of age), vitamins, and a tub of Triple Paste. I also recommend Vaseline for a boy (circumcision care), rubbing alcohol wipes, safety swabs, and a comb and a brush (and a bowl full of mush).
If you're planning on breast-feeding (and I hope you are!)
1. A Boppy with an extra cover. In addition to saving your arms during nursing, your baby can lie in it (supervised-soft pillows are a SIDS risk). Again, we ended up with 2 of these- one for upstairs and one for downstairs.
2. A breast pump. I have this Medela. They're expensive, so if you can rent or borrow, go ahead. You should be able to get new tubing from your hospital.
3. Bottles. I know this one seems counter-intuitive, but give yourself a break and start having your partner give your child a bottle after nursing is established (2-4 weeks). If not, you'll end up with a child who won't take the bottle and you'll be on a short leash. This is another one where you'll need to determine your child's preference, so don't buy too many of any one kind.
4. Lanolin and nursing pads. For your own comfort.
5. Nursing camis. It may be difficult to buy nursing bras while you're unsure what your size will be (although you may want to try). Luckily a soft cami will go well with your momiform .
We didn't have:
-A diaper pail. Well, we do for cloth, but for disposables we just use a regular trash can with a lid.
-A playmat/gym. We used blankets. And toys.
-A wipe warmer. Really? You're still using cold wipes when you're away from the changing table.
-A Bumbo.
- A video monitor. But I kind of wish we did.
A few other random tips:
If you're a knowledge-junkie like me, try Heading Home with Your Newborn or Baby 411. Both are easy to read and informative without being preachy.
You will probably get a lot of toys, books, blankets, hooded towels, and 3-6 month clothes whether or not you register for them. You shouldn't need more than one pack of receiving blankets anyway. You may want to hold off on buying these things.
I didn't love the Baby Bjorn. Not because he was dangling, but because at 4 months and 16 lbs he was already a back-breaker. I think I'm going to try an Ergo next time.
Pacifiers are another item that is up to your baby's preference, so don't buy too many of any one kind until you know what he likes/if he likes them at all. B and many of my friends' babies preferred the Avent kind that they use in the hospital, not the traditional Binky.
And for you, Mom. For a vaginal delivery, I recommend stocking up on Tucks and maxi pads (the fat old-fashioned kind). Also, take home as many of the ice-pack-maxi-pads from the hospital as you can. I know it sounds strange, but trust me, you will come to think of them as friends. Finally, regardless of delivery method, you will want quick and easy meals. Stock your freezer, and don't be afraid to suggest that friends bring you dinner if they ask what you need.
This list is way too long, and there is grunting coming from the nursery (oh, joy). What are your favorite/least favorite baby items?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Holiday traditions and the sometimes single mom
My husband has a good job. He enjoys what he does, and he earns enough that I am able to stay home with B. I'm grateful for that. Unfortunately, he also works weekends, holidays, and otherwise unpredictable hours.
I certainly knew this before we had kids. I anticipated the nights alone and the 12-day-stretches. What I didn't think about was the impossibility of having regular family traditions when one parent may or may not be available.
There are some things that I can't do alone (cutting down the Christmas tree) and others that I simply don't want to (having breakfast with the Easter Bunny). This past year we rushed through the Christmas morning gift opening so that Daddy could get to work.
Living back here I do have other friends and family with whom I can celebrate, for which I am grateful. The Christmas that we spent in North Carolina I sat in church by myself on Christmas Eve and cried. Holidays are the worst time to be lonely.
Obviously we do what we can. We get the tree another day. B and I head to breakfast by ourselves or include other family or friends. We're just in the formative stages of family traditions, anyway. Still, it doesn't feel right that family traditions may or may include Daddy. I feel bad for him for missing them, and bad for B and I for missing him. Things get overlooked or adjusted. It's not the same.
I know I should be grateful for Ray's presence in my life, and B's, and I am. But traditions are important to me, and I'm striving to make them meaningful as well as fun.
I know I'm not the only one in this situation. How do you form family traditions in your hectic lives?
I certainly knew this before we had kids. I anticipated the nights alone and the 12-day-stretches. What I didn't think about was the impossibility of having regular family traditions when one parent may or may not be available.
There are some things that I can't do alone (cutting down the Christmas tree) and others that I simply don't want to (having breakfast with the Easter Bunny). This past year we rushed through the Christmas morning gift opening so that Daddy could get to work.
Living back here I do have other friends and family with whom I can celebrate, for which I am grateful. The Christmas that we spent in North Carolina I sat in church by myself on Christmas Eve and cried. Holidays are the worst time to be lonely.
Obviously we do what we can. We get the tree another day. B and I head to breakfast by ourselves or include other family or friends. We're just in the formative stages of family traditions, anyway. Still, it doesn't feel right that family traditions may or may include Daddy. I feel bad for him for missing them, and bad for B and I for missing him. Things get overlooked or adjusted. It's not the same.
I know I should be grateful for Ray's presence in my life, and B's, and I am. But traditions are important to me, and I'm striving to make them meaningful as well as fun.
I know I'm not the only one in this situation. How do you form family traditions in your hectic lives?
Monday, March 19, 2012
This IS my job
Last week I was offered a job. It was 20 hours a week, and very flexible. It seemed like a great place to work, and great people with whom to work. It was less than 5 minutes from the house. It sounded perfect.
I didn't take it.
It was a hard decision. I strung them along for some time, which I feel badly about. It did sound perfect, so logically I thought I should want it. It didn't feel perfect though.
I "went with my gut," and feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I know there will be times (probably this week, maybe even today) when I think that I should have taken it, because it would be something different. But then there will be times when B is sitting in my lap, or chattering in earnest to me, or exploring the playground, when I know that it was the right decision.
So for all of my whining about there not being opportunities to work part-time, I guess I really just wanted to be a full-time mom after all. I plan to embrace it.
That doesn't mean there may not come a day in the future when I find a job that does feel right, but for now I'm putting everything I can into this job (and it is a job). My boardroom will be the playground, and my employees one smiling, furniture climbing, belly-slapping boy. My co-workers, as always, will be all mothers, all giving 110% to this most important job. There will never be a lunch hour or a quitting time, but the remuneration will make every long hour worth it.
This IS my job, and I'll take it.
I didn't take it.
It was a hard decision. I strung them along for some time, which I feel badly about. It did sound perfect, so logically I thought I should want it. It didn't feel perfect though.
I "went with my gut," and feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I know there will be times (probably this week, maybe even today) when I think that I should have taken it, because it would be something different. But then there will be times when B is sitting in my lap, or chattering in earnest to me, or exploring the playground, when I know that it was the right decision.
So for all of my whining about there not being opportunities to work part-time, I guess I really just wanted to be a full-time mom after all. I plan to embrace it.
That doesn't mean there may not come a day in the future when I find a job that does feel right, but for now I'm putting everything I can into this job (and it is a job). My boardroom will be the playground, and my employees one smiling, furniture climbing, belly-slapping boy. My co-workers, as always, will be all mothers, all giving 110% to this most important job. There will never be a lunch hour or a quitting time, but the remuneration will make every long hour worth it.
This IS my job, and I'll take it.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Mommy guilt for dummies
My husband is pretty wonderful. He's a great dad and always very supportive of me. Still, he is completely clueless about why I am so conflicted about going back to work.
The thing is, I am an intelligent, educated woman. It seems a little ridiculous to have put the time and money into a master's degree only to spend my day changing diapers and playing with blocks. I do crave adult interaction at times, as well as appreciation. Appreciation not just for making dinner, but for my mind. I want to be stimulated and challenged and to feel competent!
It's important to me not to lose my identity. I want to be active in the community and not just B's mom.
On the other hand, I love my son so much. I'm certain that no one else will take care of him as well as I do. I want to make the decisions about what he eats, how he is entertained, and how he is disciplined. I want to be able to take care of him when he is sick. I want to be the first face he sees when he wakes up.
My mom is our childcare, which in many ways is great. The one way in which it is not is that other sitters would be less likely to question me about my decisions. I love how close B is to his Nana, but I am still the mom.
So I'm torn. In a day I'll flip-flop so many times. My usual indecisiveness? Perhaps, but also appreciation for what a complex decision it is.
Still confused? You must not be a mom.
The thing is, I am an intelligent, educated woman. It seems a little ridiculous to have put the time and money into a master's degree only to spend my day changing diapers and playing with blocks. I do crave adult interaction at times, as well as appreciation. Appreciation not just for making dinner, but for my mind. I want to be stimulated and challenged and to feel competent!
It's important to me not to lose my identity. I want to be active in the community and not just B's mom.
On the other hand, I love my son so much. I'm certain that no one else will take care of him as well as I do. I want to make the decisions about what he eats, how he is entertained, and how he is disciplined. I want to be able to take care of him when he is sick. I want to be the first face he sees when he wakes up.
My mom is our childcare, which in many ways is great. The one way in which it is not is that other sitters would be less likely to question me about my decisions. I love how close B is to his Nana, but I am still the mom.
So I'm torn. In a day I'll flip-flop so many times. My usual indecisiveness? Perhaps, but also appreciation for what a complex decision it is.
Still confused? You must not be a mom.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Bye-bye, boobie
On Saturday, B will be 15 months old. That is the date I have set to stop breastfeeding.
It's time. It's no longer as enjoyable for either of us as it once was. I'm looking forward to enjoying wine with dinner again! And I am so over pumping.
Still, it's a big milestone.
I never saw myself Extended Breastfeeding (EBF). I always said that it stopped with the first birthday cake. But here's the thing: I loved it. He loved it. What's not to love?
First and perhaps most importantly, breastfeeding is an incredible bonding activity. Your baby's skin is next to yours, and first the first 6 months, you are providing all of the nutrition that your baby needs. That's amazing, right? This time is incredibly soothing for your child. It can calm him, put him to sleep, and fill his belly.
Although we're winding down, I was really glad that I was still breastfeeding this past weekend when B was sick. He was absolutely miserable and nothing seemed to soothe him, but nursing still did the trick.
Of course, it's also free and so convenient. Nothing to buy, no bottles and coolers to carry; the food is always available.
Besides being soothing, breastfeeding provides your baby with antibodies that aren't found in formula. These antibodies lower your child's risk of SIDS, ear infections, stomach viruses and respiratory infections, asthma, diabetes, obesity, and childhood leukemia! (http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/breastfeeding.cfm#a)
As if that's not enough, breastfeeding can also lower mom's risk of diabetes, breast and ovarian cancer, and postpartum depression. Plus it helps you lose weight! I know I've joked before about weight loss being the main reason to breastfeed. You know what? It doesn't matter if it is. No matter what your primary motivation, your baby is still getting all of the benefits!
So while it's time to move on, I'm sad to stop breastfeeding too. We were a great team. We had so many special moments with him curled up against my chest. Sure, there were moments when I felt chained to the house or to the pump, but they were a small price to pay for all of the benefits for both of us.
Bye-bye, boobies.
It's time. It's no longer as enjoyable for either of us as it once was. I'm looking forward to enjoying wine with dinner again! And I am so over pumping.
Still, it's a big milestone.
I never saw myself Extended Breastfeeding (EBF). I always said that it stopped with the first birthday cake. But here's the thing: I loved it. He loved it. What's not to love?
First and perhaps most importantly, breastfeeding is an incredible bonding activity. Your baby's skin is next to yours, and first the first 6 months, you are providing all of the nutrition that your baby needs. That's amazing, right? This time is incredibly soothing for your child. It can calm him, put him to sleep, and fill his belly.
Although we're winding down, I was really glad that I was still breastfeeding this past weekend when B was sick. He was absolutely miserable and nothing seemed to soothe him, but nursing still did the trick.
Of course, it's also free and so convenient. Nothing to buy, no bottles and coolers to carry; the food is always available.
Besides being soothing, breastfeeding provides your baby with antibodies that aren't found in formula. These antibodies lower your child's risk of SIDS, ear infections, stomach viruses and respiratory infections, asthma, diabetes, obesity, and childhood leukemia! (http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/breastfeeding.cfm#a)
As if that's not enough, breastfeeding can also lower mom's risk of diabetes, breast and ovarian cancer, and postpartum depression. Plus it helps you lose weight! I know I've joked before about weight loss being the main reason to breastfeed. You know what? It doesn't matter if it is. No matter what your primary motivation, your baby is still getting all of the benefits!
So while it's time to move on, I'm sad to stop breastfeeding too. We were a great team. We had so many special moments with him curled up against my chest. Sure, there were moments when I felt chained to the house or to the pump, but they were a small price to pay for all of the benefits for both of us.
Bye-bye, boobies.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Mom jeans
I have never really been fashionable. I don't think I'm "What Not To Wear" worthy, I just have a pretty basic style. I like to think of it as a "classic" style. I'll pick up styles that I feel comfortable with and ignore those (jeggings) that I don't.
Like most new moms, I was eager to get back into my regular clothes after the limited wardrobe of pregnancy, especially late pregnancy. I was aware that it might take awhile to fit in those clothes, but I didn't anticipate many of the other caveats of mom-wardrobing.
Mom jeans: Yes, I made fun of them before but I totally GET them now. The first time I wore my low-rise jeans and reached up I realized that I had just showed the world my stretchmarks. Furthermore, I spend a lot more time on the ground than I used to. Butt cracks are only cute on infants and toddlers.
Shirts: The number one priority here is easy access. But from the bottom, because at a certain age the little one will start tugging at the top, certain that everyone else wants to see your breasts just as much as he does. After you've had a gaggle of residents staring under the sheet over your legs, you don't really have that much modesty left. That thin shred is quickly depleted by a small person who gets hungry no matter who is around. Still, you probably have a bit more than your child thinks you should. That's right, at least for the first few years, your child won't think twice about exposing you to whoever is around. That means clothing needs to be tug-proof. You might think that a button-down front would be ideal, but chances are your new (and sadly, temporary) fuller figure makes them an indecent option as well.
Dresses: Not an option. Unless you can find a style that gives you front or top access, I don't recommend pulling your skirt up to your shoulders when it's time to nurse.
Hair: In the first few weeks, a ponytail is simply a matter of survival. If your hair is clean when you put it back you have had a good day. Just when you think you have things under control enough to do something with it, your little one begins to find the temptation of those swinging locks to be too much and gives them regular tugs. Back to the ponytail once again.
Accessories: Earrings, necklaces, etc. are too much of a temptation for little hands. Like a letter man jacket or your sorority pin, the white spot (spit-up, snot, etc) on your shoulder is your new accessory indicating membership in the mom club.
Shoes: If you had any trouble walking in them before, try doing it with a wiggle-monster perched on one hip.
Add to these concerns the need for durability and washable-ness and the fact that it seems like your size changes faster than your baby's, and it's amazing moms ever get dressed at all.
Like most new moms, I was eager to get back into my regular clothes after the limited wardrobe of pregnancy, especially late pregnancy. I was aware that it might take awhile to fit in those clothes, but I didn't anticipate many of the other caveats of mom-wardrobing.
Mom jeans: Yes, I made fun of them before but I totally GET them now. The first time I wore my low-rise jeans and reached up I realized that I had just showed the world my stretchmarks. Furthermore, I spend a lot more time on the ground than I used to. Butt cracks are only cute on infants and toddlers.
Shirts: The number one priority here is easy access. But from the bottom, because at a certain age the little one will start tugging at the top, certain that everyone else wants to see your breasts just as much as he does. After you've had a gaggle of residents staring under the sheet over your legs, you don't really have that much modesty left. That thin shred is quickly depleted by a small person who gets hungry no matter who is around. Still, you probably have a bit more than your child thinks you should. That's right, at least for the first few years, your child won't think twice about exposing you to whoever is around. That means clothing needs to be tug-proof. You might think that a button-down front would be ideal, but chances are your new (and sadly, temporary) fuller figure makes them an indecent option as well.
Dresses: Not an option. Unless you can find a style that gives you front or top access, I don't recommend pulling your skirt up to your shoulders when it's time to nurse.
Hair: In the first few weeks, a ponytail is simply a matter of survival. If your hair is clean when you put it back you have had a good day. Just when you think you have things under control enough to do something with it, your little one begins to find the temptation of those swinging locks to be too much and gives them regular tugs. Back to the ponytail once again.
Accessories: Earrings, necklaces, etc. are too much of a temptation for little hands. Like a letter man jacket or your sorority pin, the white spot (spit-up, snot, etc) on your shoulder is your new accessory indicating membership in the mom club.
Shoes: If you had any trouble walking in them before, try doing it with a wiggle-monster perched on one hip.
Add to these concerns the need for durability and washable-ness and the fact that it seems like your size changes faster than your baby's, and it's amazing moms ever get dressed at all.
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