When I worked in child care, I had these adorable cousins who already had a love-hate relationship at the age of 2. Sometimes when the boy cousin was trying to play with her the girl cousin would say "I just want to be by myself right now!" It was surprising coming out of the mouth of one so young, but I've thought about those toddlers many times when I wanted to shout the same thing.
As a camp counselor, especially to the elementary school set, I liked going to the bathroom because when I shut the stall door, I was all alone in those four particle-board walls. I remember saying so to new staff, only to be looked at as though I had 6 heads. I bet they understood by the end of the first week. Little did I realize that as a mom, I don't even get to be alone when I go to the bathroom.
A few times in the past week Ray has allowed B to run into the bathroom when I am showering. That pitter-patter of his little feet and his little hands on the glass are so precious. Still, I think, "shower time is supposed to be ME-time!" For a few minutes I want to let the water run over me and relax, all alone in that glass cubicle. These days I can't wash the dishes without having a little body squeeze his way between my legs and the cupboard. I love him and I don't want to miss a thing, but I need a little time to just be by myself and recharge. To know he's safe with someone else who loves him. To remember who I am.
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