This IS my job

Last week I was offered a job.  It was 20 hours a week, and very flexible.  It seemed like a great place to work, and great people with whom to work.  It was less than 5 minutes from the house.  It sounded perfect.

I didn't take it. 

It was a hard decision.  I strung them along for some time, which I feel badly about.  It did sound perfect, so logically I thought I should want it.  It didn't feel perfect though.

I "went with my gut," and feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  I know there will be times (probably this week, maybe even today) when I think that I should have taken it, because it would be something different.  But then there will be times when B is sitting in my lap, or chattering in earnest to me, or exploring the playground, when I know that it was the right decision. 

So for all of my whining about there not being opportunities to work part-time, I guess I really just wanted to be a full-time mom after all.  I plan to embrace it.

That doesn't mean there may not come a day in the future when I find a job that does feel right, but for now I'm putting everything I can into this job (and it is a job).  My boardroom will be the playground, and my employees one smiling, furniture climbing, belly-slapping boy.  My co-workers, as always, will be all mothers, all giving 110% to this most important job.  There will never be a lunch hour or a quitting time, but the remuneration will make every long hour worth it.

This IS my job, and I'll take it.