I'm back!
What have I been doing for over a year? Having a second child. And man, number 2 changes everything. Please forgive me for my smugness, little brother has changed all of that for me.
Before I became a mom I had these ideas about what motherhood would be like. I would be an awesome mom, calmly providing guidance to my well-behaved children. Saturdays would be spent reading the paper on the couch while they played contentedly on the floor. I would plan fun and educational activities and crafts which we all would enjoy. I would be the mom you pin on Pinterest.
Well, then kids happened. Boys happened. Two boys happened. And often when I manage to find the time to plan and execute an activity/craft/learning opportunity B squashes it/drowns it/eats it/throws it on the floor/runs around it so that rather than being awesome-educational-activity-planning mom I am harried-yelling-cleaning-up-messes-why-can't-you-ever-listen mom.
I still strive to be that mom, but I've needed to scale back expectations. I scour Pinterest skeptically and seek out activities that are actually realistic for a 2 1/2 year old.
So my hope for this blog going forward is to share some ideas that have actually worked for us. As I continue to try to feed my family healthy food I'll try to share some recipes too, containing only easy-to-find ingredients. I hope you'll read, share if you like it, and even Pin!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Olympic Ambition
I am an Olympic junkie. I tend to walk around in a daze during the two weeks of the games due to lack of sleep. For years I would watch the games and dream of being an Olympian, despite my complete lack of coordination.
This year as I'm watching the London Olympics, I no longer hope to be an athlete myself. Now my dream is to raise an Olympian. I think about the sports that he might excel at, and try to get him kicking in the pool. Our off-the-growth-charts toddler will probably never make it as a gymnast, coxswain, or table tennis player, but basketball, swimming, and volleyball would all be possibilities. (And does any American really fantasize about being winning the gold in ping-pong?)
But as I hear the stories, I wonder if I have it in me to raise an Olympian. There's the good side: would I see the potential in my child and nurture it like Jonathan Horton's parents? But also the bad: would I send my child away to training camp like Gabby Douglas? It's clear from the stories of many of the young athletes that becoming an Olympian takes the dedication of not just that person, but the entire family. As I watch I wonder, don't Michael Phelps's sisters get tired of being just that? Are siblings neglected? Do relationships suffer? Where is the line between being supportive and pushing your child too far?
Do you think you have what it takes to raise an Olympian?
I'll continue to try to teach B to swim, but the genetics and training that I provide will probably mean that his most Olympic event is enduring two weeks of Bob Costas. I'll be happy and proud of that, too.
This year as I'm watching the London Olympics, I no longer hope to be an athlete myself. Now my dream is to raise an Olympian. I think about the sports that he might excel at, and try to get him kicking in the pool. Our off-the-growth-charts toddler will probably never make it as a gymnast, coxswain, or table tennis player, but basketball, swimming, and volleyball would all be possibilities. (And does any American really fantasize about being winning the gold in ping-pong?)
But as I hear the stories, I wonder if I have it in me to raise an Olympian. There's the good side: would I see the potential in my child and nurture it like Jonathan Horton's parents? But also the bad: would I send my child away to training camp like Gabby Douglas? It's clear from the stories of many of the young athletes that becoming an Olympian takes the dedication of not just that person, but the entire family. As I watch I wonder, don't Michael Phelps's sisters get tired of being just that? Are siblings neglected? Do relationships suffer? Where is the line between being supportive and pushing your child too far?
Do you think you have what it takes to raise an Olympian?
I'll continue to try to teach B to swim, but the genetics and training that I provide will probably mean that his most Olympic event is enduring two weeks of Bob Costas. I'll be happy and proud of that, too.
Monday, July 2, 2012
When vacations aren't
I have always loved to travel. From camping to Europe, I love to get away. I even liked to pack. It was the anticipation that I enjoyed.
Since having a child, however, I have come to dread vacations a little. I still love to get away, but the packing for the whole family, including gear, toys, books, diapers, milk, snacks, etc. is such a pain! There's the looming knowledge of coming home to stacks of mail, piles of laundry to mar the last day as well. Ray is helpful in many things, but packing is not one of them. I spend a week shopping, making sure clothes are clean, getting things together...and he makes a pile of clothes 30 minutes before we leave.
Traveling with young children adds the complication of sleep arrangements. B sleeps in a pack and play, and is pretty good at going down by himself, but not when we are in the room. So for a few hours in the afternoon and after 8 pm we are sort of stuck. On our last trip one of us sat on the desk chair in the hall outside of the room while the other fled to the lobby.
This past weekend we headed to the Hershey Lodge for 4 days where Ray was attending a conference. Despite my urge to strangle him, we got everything packed and headed out ahead of schedule. His conference started at noon, although check-in wasn't until 4. So B and I perused the outlets for a while on a 20-minute car nap and waited for a call about early check-in. By 3:30 we were back at the hotel requesting again. Now they managed to put us in a tiny room on a narrow hall at the back of the property. I wanted to cry. What I did instead was crab at Ray until he called to ask if we could get into a room with an exterior door. They were able to switch us, but it would now be 5:30 until we could get into the room. So we went back to the lobby and chased the York Peppermint Pattie and the Kit-Kat around for awhile. We had snacks. We terrorized the other guests, but at least a few of them were in the same situation.
We finally got into a new room, and it was great. Centrally located, bigger, and with an external door with two chairs outside. It was 95 degrees, but still better than sitting on the floor in the hall. B never slept anymore that day, but did remarkably well, except for a struggle to fall asleep at bedtime. He did repeatedly unplug the alarm clock, try to talk on the phone, and switch the wall unit from AC to heat, but we all survived, and even enjoyed ourselves.
We learned some lessons too...arrive a day early, and be sure to request one of those rooms in the future. And for now, I'm looking forward to the next trip, at least until it's time to pack!
Since having a child, however, I have come to dread vacations a little. I still love to get away, but the packing for the whole family, including gear, toys, books, diapers, milk, snacks, etc. is such a pain! There's the looming knowledge of coming home to stacks of mail, piles of laundry to mar the last day as well. Ray is helpful in many things, but packing is not one of them. I spend a week shopping, making sure clothes are clean, getting things together...and he makes a pile of clothes 30 minutes before we leave.
Traveling with young children adds the complication of sleep arrangements. B sleeps in a pack and play, and is pretty good at going down by himself, but not when we are in the room. So for a few hours in the afternoon and after 8 pm we are sort of stuck. On our last trip one of us sat on the desk chair in the hall outside of the room while the other fled to the lobby.
This past weekend we headed to the Hershey Lodge for 4 days where Ray was attending a conference. Despite my urge to strangle him, we got everything packed and headed out ahead of schedule. His conference started at noon, although check-in wasn't until 4. So B and I perused the outlets for a while on a 20-minute car nap and waited for a call about early check-in. By 3:30 we were back at the hotel requesting again. Now they managed to put us in a tiny room on a narrow hall at the back of the property. I wanted to cry. What I did instead was crab at Ray until he called to ask if we could get into a room with an exterior door. They were able to switch us, but it would now be 5:30 until we could get into the room. So we went back to the lobby and chased the York Peppermint Pattie and the Kit-Kat around for awhile. We had snacks. We terrorized the other guests, but at least a few of them were in the same situation.
We finally got into a new room, and it was great. Centrally located, bigger, and with an external door with two chairs outside. It was 95 degrees, but still better than sitting on the floor in the hall. B never slept anymore that day, but did remarkably well, except for a struggle to fall asleep at bedtime. He did repeatedly unplug the alarm clock, try to talk on the phone, and switch the wall unit from AC to heat, but we all survived, and even enjoyed ourselves.
We learned some lessons too...arrive a day early, and be sure to request one of those rooms in the future. And for now, I'm looking forward to the next trip, at least until it's time to pack!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Ulterior motives
I know I sometimes come off as though I think I'm an expert on parenting. I don't think that. How could I be? I have one kid who is only 18 months old. Perhaps I appear that way because I'm just an extremely conceited person. I choose to think it's because as a stay-at-home parent, I want desperately to feel as though I am knowledgeable about something.
A few weeks ago I said I judged other moms for a few a things, one of them being have a cranky toddler out when it was clearly nap time. I shouldn't have said that, both because I shouldn't judge, and because it didn't accurately express what I was trying to say. I know that I can be judgmental, and I shouldn't be. I don't know the circumstances that cause a person to act a particular way, and I shouldn't pretend to understand them. We all judge, but that doesn't make it right. I don't like being a judgmental person, and I want to change. I want to set a better example for B. My husband and I often discuss the fact that we don't want to screw him up too badly (working on the assumption that we are all screwed up in some way!)
Young children need naps. Healthy sleep habits aid learning, decrease obesity, etc. Here's my confession: I'm not such a stickler about naps because it's good for B. I want to be home for nap time because it's good for me. If all he gets is a 20 minute snooze in the car we're both going to have a bad day. Nap time is my time. I spend part of it doing the housework and chores that are difficult when he is awake, and then try to spend some time doing something for me: writing this blog, reading, even answering e-mails. There are going to be days when we're out and it's unavoidable, but I try to limit those, because it really is worth it to me to be home every afternoon. When we're out for consecutive days, I get nothing done. It's my sanity.
I'm not an expert; I'm just figuring it out as I go along. As a mom I truly appreciate hearing what has worked for other moms and I'm just hoping that what I learn can help someone else and that I can stimulate some discussion that can help us all.
A few weeks ago I said I judged other moms for a few a things, one of them being have a cranky toddler out when it was clearly nap time. I shouldn't have said that, both because I shouldn't judge, and because it didn't accurately express what I was trying to say. I know that I can be judgmental, and I shouldn't be. I don't know the circumstances that cause a person to act a particular way, and I shouldn't pretend to understand them. We all judge, but that doesn't make it right. I don't like being a judgmental person, and I want to change. I want to set a better example for B. My husband and I often discuss the fact that we don't want to screw him up too badly (working on the assumption that we are all screwed up in some way!)
Young children need naps. Healthy sleep habits aid learning, decrease obesity, etc. Here's my confession: I'm not such a stickler about naps because it's good for B. I want to be home for nap time because it's good for me. If all he gets is a 20 minute snooze in the car we're both going to have a bad day. Nap time is my time. I spend part of it doing the housework and chores that are difficult when he is awake, and then try to spend some time doing something for me: writing this blog, reading, even answering e-mails. There are going to be days when we're out and it's unavoidable, but I try to limit those, because it really is worth it to me to be home every afternoon. When we're out for consecutive days, I get nothing done. It's my sanity.
I'm not an expert; I'm just figuring it out as I go along. As a mom I truly appreciate hearing what has worked for other moms and I'm just hoping that what I learn can help someone else and that I can stimulate some discussion that can help us all.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
I just want to be by myself right now!
When I worked in child care, I had these adorable cousins who already had a love-hate relationship at the age of 2. Sometimes when the boy cousin was trying to play with her the girl cousin would say "I just want to be by myself right now!" It was surprising coming out of the mouth of one so young, but I've thought about those toddlers many times when I wanted to shout the same thing.
As a camp counselor, especially to the elementary school set, I liked going to the bathroom because when I shut the stall door, I was all alone in those four particle-board walls. I remember saying so to new staff, only to be looked at as though I had 6 heads. I bet they understood by the end of the first week. Little did I realize that as a mom, I don't even get to be alone when I go to the bathroom.
A few times in the past week Ray has allowed B to run into the bathroom when I am showering. That pitter-patter of his little feet and his little hands on the glass are so precious. Still, I think, "shower time is supposed to be ME-time!" For a few minutes I want to let the water run over me and relax, all alone in that glass cubicle. These days I can't wash the dishes without having a little body squeeze his way between my legs and the cupboard. I love him and I don't want to miss a thing, but I need a little time to just be by myself and recharge. To know he's safe with someone else who loves him. To remember who I am.
As a camp counselor, especially to the elementary school set, I liked going to the bathroom because when I shut the stall door, I was all alone in those four particle-board walls. I remember saying so to new staff, only to be looked at as though I had 6 heads. I bet they understood by the end of the first week. Little did I realize that as a mom, I don't even get to be alone when I go to the bathroom.
A few times in the past week Ray has allowed B to run into the bathroom when I am showering. That pitter-patter of his little feet and his little hands on the glass are so precious. Still, I think, "shower time is supposed to be ME-time!" For a few minutes I want to let the water run over me and relax, all alone in that glass cubicle. These days I can't wash the dishes without having a little body squeeze his way between my legs and the cupboard. I love him and I don't want to miss a thing, but I need a little time to just be by myself and recharge. To know he's safe with someone else who loves him. To remember who I am.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Let kids be kids
I was at the mall last week, shortly after 1 pm, completing a return with a female employee who was my age or younger, when a grandmother walked by corralling a 3-year-old girl. The grandmother said to us "let this be a lesson for you." I can only assume that she meant "use a condom, kiddies" but I think there are other lessons to be learned.
I am far from a perfect parent, and B is not a perfect child (although the little stinker does know how to put it on for the grandparents), but a trip to the mall always makes me feel like I'm doing an awesome job. (Central PA folks, Knoebel's is so good for one's self-esteem. A visit never fails to make me feel slender, well-dressed, patient and nurturing.)
Kids misbehave, and they do it in public. It's embarrassing, but if you're doing your best, other moms are likely to sympathize. However, I don't feel sorry for you when you are yelling at your child for BEING A CHILD.
I am 30 years old and I still get cranky when I am hungry, tired, or ignored. Why would a child be different? That little girl was not misbehaving, she was simply acting as a little girl should. If taking her to the mall is too much for you, don't take her to the mall. There is space to run and things to see and if she is mutely standing by your side the whole time she is not a normal 3-year-old.
This toddlerhood stage can be so frustrating, but I keep reminding myself (and sometimes others), that he is not being bad, he is being a toddler. It is our job to teach him the right way, not to assume that he already knows it. It's frustrating, but it's also magical to see the world through his eyes, and just let him be a kid.
I am far from a perfect parent, and B is not a perfect child (although the little stinker does know how to put it on for the grandparents), but a trip to the mall always makes me feel like I'm doing an awesome job. (Central PA folks, Knoebel's is so good for one's self-esteem. A visit never fails to make me feel slender, well-dressed, patient and nurturing.)
Kids misbehave, and they do it in public. It's embarrassing, but if you're doing your best, other moms are likely to sympathize. However, I don't feel sorry for you when you are yelling at your child for BEING A CHILD.
I am 30 years old and I still get cranky when I am hungry, tired, or ignored. Why would a child be different? That little girl was not misbehaving, she was simply acting as a little girl should. If taking her to the mall is too much for you, don't take her to the mall. There is space to run and things to see and if she is mutely standing by your side the whole time she is not a normal 3-year-old.
This toddlerhood stage can be so frustrating, but I keep reminding myself (and sometimes others), that he is not being bad, he is being a toddler. It is our job to teach him the right way, not to assume that he already knows it. It's frustrating, but it's also magical to see the world through his eyes, and just let him be a kid.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Free and cheap activities for young toddlers
I've been scouring the web lately looking for activity ideas for my 17-month old. Unfortunately most ideas are either too advanced or really not worth mentioning (going for a walk? Reading books? Oh...I hadn't thought of that!)
So, I thought I'd post a few of the activities we have come up with, most of which involve trash, so they're free. Really, things you would normally throw away are so much fun to a 17-month old.
I've been on an online shopping kick recently. That's not free of course, but we have created a fort...
We've also made use of the packing paper as craft paper. Mostly B likes to dump the crayons out and then put them back in the box, but he scribbled a little.
Finally, the packing peanuts provided some great fill-and-dump fun. This one requires close supervision if your toddler still wants to put everything in his mouth.
I created a "pom-pom-stuff-it-in" from an idea I found on Money Saving Mom. I was surprised at how quickly B figured out what to do, and how many times in a row he would do it. It works well when I want to entertain him in his high chair for a little longer while I make dinner.
B also spends quite a bit of time playing in his kitchen drawer. It's filled with empty containers, plastic cups, a pot, etc. He really likes to stir as well as "drink" from cups.
And, finally, what is perhaps B's favorite toy right now... a bowl full of plastic Easter eggs. He stirs them, he opens them, he dumps them out, and he uses a large spoon to transfer them from one bowl to another, which I figure is great motor skill practice (after all, using a spoon without dumping its contents can be pretty tricky).
What are some things your young toddler enjoys/enjoyed? I'd love to hear some more ideas!
So, I thought I'd post a few of the activities we have come up with, most of which involve trash, so they're free. Really, things you would normally throw away are so much fun to a 17-month old.
I've been on an online shopping kick recently. That's not free of course, but we have created a fort...
We've also made use of the packing paper as craft paper. Mostly B likes to dump the crayons out and then put them back in the box, but he scribbled a little.
I created a "pom-pom-stuff-it-in" from an idea I found on Money Saving Mom. I was surprised at how quickly B figured out what to do, and how many times in a row he would do it. It works well when I want to entertain him in his high chair for a little longer while I make dinner.
B also spends quite a bit of time playing in his kitchen drawer. It's filled with empty containers, plastic cups, a pot, etc. He really likes to stir as well as "drink" from cups.
And, finally, what is perhaps B's favorite toy right now... a bowl full of plastic Easter eggs. He stirs them, he opens them, he dumps them out, and he uses a large spoon to transfer them from one bowl to another, which I figure is great motor skill practice (after all, using a spoon without dumping its contents can be pretty tricky).
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