So long, JoePa

My husband said to me the other night, "You know, I never met the man, I didn't even grow up in Pennsylvania, and somehow I feel like I lost a grandparent."  I suspect that many people share his emotions about Joe Paterno.  For me, it goes deeper.  My first thought upon hearing of his death, much as it had been upon hearing of his firing, was wondering how my dad was handling it.  My 63-year-old father has been cheering for Penn State, under head coach Paterno, since he graduated from high school.  I was so concerned that on Sunday night I had an anxious dream that my dad hadn't yet heard and I had to break the news to him.  Perhaps for my dad, who lost a distant father at a relatively young age, Joe Paterno, whom he also never met, was looked up to as a father-like figure.  He certainly displayed many of the traits anyone would want in a father. 

I know that some of you will wonder why I am writing about Joe.  Isn't this blog about parenting, and as a mother of a son am I not outraged at the handling of matters at Penn State?  I have no desire to argue with you.  I will only state what I have kept thinking since the scandal broke which is that he did exactly what I would have done in the same situation, and what we teach our children to do: tell a responsible person that you trust.

So, even with only tangential connections to the Paternos and Penn State, we mourn this week.  We mourn and we aspire to be more like Joe.  We strive to teach our children to be like Joe.  To have both determination and grace.  To be loyal.  To have a generous heart.  To value education.  To be humble.  To love.

In an interview, Jay Paterno said that his dad's parenting style was always to be a father first, not a friend, even when the lessons were hard.  Joe believed that when his children were adults they would be friends, armed with the many lessons he had taught them to sustain them throughout their lives. Jay stated that for him this is true, his father has given him the armor he needs to make it through the battles of life.  Yet, you could always see the love and compassion in his interactions with his children, as with his team.  Discipline with love.  Success with honor.  As parents and as people, may we all be more like Joe.