Fortune magazine recently published an article about female CEOs and their stay-at-home husbands. The idea is basically that a family cannot be successful with two parents in high pressure jobs, so if women want to succeed, they need men who will support them at home.
There has never been much of a decision for us, because my husband has far greater earning potential than I do. Even if he didn't, I'm not sure he'd consider the role. He can be completely clueless about the guilt and challenges women face regardless of their employment situation.
In fantasy, I've been thinking about how different things would be if he was the one to stay home (or work part-time) and here are some of the changes I imagine:
1. Before he could say Mama or Dada, Benjamin would say Mike (and Mike).
2. Benjamin would go to the grocery store in his pajamas. And for walks in his pajamas. And to Lowe's, even when we didn't particularly need anything but just for a field trip, in his pajamas.
3. The floors would be spotless, while there was an inch of dust on the furniture.
4. We would spend at least twice as much on groceries. And we would make three times as many trips to the grocery store.
5. We would eat more red meat. In fact, we would eat meatloaf at least once a week.
6. There would be less reading and singing, and more fort-building.
7. Schedule schmedule.
I know there are many more... How would things be different at your house if Dad was the one at home?
Well as a work-from-home Dad, with a couple days of fulltime childcare, and a couple days of me as primary, that list doesn't look so bad. Next year Jack goes to kindergarten, so we'll look more "traditional." Ever since Olivia was a baby, I've had to deal with the reality that in Snyder County, people still refer to a father with his children as "babysitting." The old women at Weis Markets stared at me like I had 3 heads if I brought a child to get groceries on a Monday afternoon. Or, when I'm out with one or both kids, I assume I look like divorced Dad getting his court-appointed time.
ReplyDeleteOne of the potential list-makers we settled early was this: if you don't want to come home from the office and make the first thing you say a complaint about how I dressed the child, then you need to put out clothes in the morning. That saved us a lot of headaches. Meg still puts out clothes, but they can both dress themselves. Except for Jack's snaps. I still have to snap pants. I can handle that.
I agree with Andy. I'm with Claire at least two days a week so my wife can work part-time. When we go out and about, I do get interesting looks like it must be my court-appointed day with the kiddo. I don't mind because I enjoy spending the time with my daughter. I still think I'd put clothes on her before we went to Lowes, though.
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